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Glenn Sonnenberg

Musings from the Bunker 6/28/20

Happy Sunday!

Okay, so I’m obsessed. After announcing earlier this week that I’d be moving to only four Musings a week, I have yet to take a break (but maybe soon).

I’m thinking of adding a weekly Musing each Sunday, entitled “In His Own Words.” While not intended exclusively for quotations from our leader, I think he’ll probably be the primary source, as there is just too much material. Here then are the first two, from this week’s pronouncements.

 

THE YACHT WITH MISSILES ON IT

Until this week, I was unaware that, in addition to his many other talents, our President also designs naval vessels. The President attended the dedication of a ship built in Wisconsin. This is his quote, taking credit:

“I said, ‘This is not a good-looking ship, let’s change the design of it.’ And I got people in, and we looked at different designs. And look what you’re doing, how beautiful it is. They gave me a beautiful model that’s absolutely…It’s like a yacht with missiles on it.”

The design was, in fact, an Italian design, and not one designed per the President’s specifications. This was at the same speech where he claimed the shipyard was chosen because of its location in Wisconsin (a swing state), versus other shipyards bidding on the project in non-battleground states.

 

WHAT A RELIEF! THE COVID-19 CRISIS APPARENTLY IS OVER

In case we all are getting our information from the Fake News, the Fake Science, the Fake Public Health Officials, and the Fake Doctors, Dr. Trump has the answer:

“Coronavirus deaths are way down. Mortality rate is one of the lowest in the World. Our Economy is roaring back and will NOT be shut down. ‘Embers’ or flare ups will be put out, as necessary!”

I usually advise young writers to avoid using a lot of adjectives and adverbs, to avoid initial capitalization of undefined terms, and to use punctuation sparingly (and exclamation marks infrequently). Thankfully, our President is not constrained by Fake Grammar!

Have a great week. As a reminder, after the fourth I’m moving to Monday, Wednesday and Friday, with Saturday music and poetry and Sunday “in his own words”…

Best,

Glenn

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